Lost in Drawers

Tag: marriage

This life is Yours and hope is rising

Sometimes you are ready for the weekend just as the week is beginning. Needless to say, by dawn on Monday we were ready for this coming weekend to arrive and to be far far away from the stresses of the real world. By midweek, we are doing better and we are still ready for the weekend. Easter is one of those weekends that has both meaning in regards to our faith, and an overall sense of rebirth and new life. We could use a healthy dose of rebirth and there is no weekend that could arrive sooner.

Love wins. Honesty wins. Forgiveness wins. Grace wins. Hope wins. LOVE WINS.

Bo

“This life is Yours and hope is rising” – Tear Down These Walls by Hillsong United

Valentines Day

To keep Valentine’s Day in perspective, things in life aren’t always perfect and romance shouldn’t be set for just one day. Regardless, kindness is always nice, love is wonderfully amazing…and a few presents? Well, presents are my favorite. Truth be told, it’s my love language. So, it’s not too shabby to receive flowers arranged by one’s husband, a long-coveted leather bound copy of Alice In Wonderland, and along with Emory, a few Disney items! To top it all off, we were able to have some time in the trees of the Botanical Gardens and then off to dinner at our favorite, Jinbeh Japanese Restaurant in Las Colinas. Some things are just a necessity. It feels nice to have a day where life is about giving to each other and blocking out the distractions caused by the busyness of life. It’s about allowing each other the space to truly enjoy each other.  And then go record and book hunting and head home from a night out on Valentine’s Day with 1/2 dozen delicious donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts. Because nothing says you are comfortable with your place in life like an armful of donuts. And remember, “Love is love” so let’s share it every day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

P.S. – Being it is our 4th Valentine’s Day together, we thought we’d document the moment with some photos of us now. It’s always nice to be able to see who we are and how far we’ve come from when we met those years ago.

Currently…

I had a grand old time reading this post from Sometimes Sweet! So we thought we would take a swing at these wonderful categories presented there:

Obsessing over: Christmas movies, shows and specials – so thank you to our DVR and Netflix, as it has brought us the original Grinch and the roast beast, Charlie Brown and some wonderful Peanuts dancing, Scott Cooper and his Santa Clause, just to name a few; wassail recipes; Christmas sweet treats; holiday music; and all things Christmas!

Working on: we are deep into business prepping and planning, holiday scheduling and creating; writing all sorts of things and generally reflecting on the year and preparing for an exciting new one!

Thinking about: our future – so often it gets discouraging to see other people seemingly coasting through life with plenty of comforts and such while we have very much struggled while trying to the right things for our little family of three; we continue to pray this new year will bring positive changes and forward progress in a lot of areas of our life.

Anticipating: Christmas Christmas Christmas!  We both adore Christmas (who doesn’t!), and this year Bo has 11 days off so we are going to be traveling and seeing family and generally having a very merry Christmas and happy New year.  We both would pack our bags today, but we have no idea what we will be taking on our adventure.

Listening to: How The Grinch Stole Christmas on ABC Family in the background and the pitter patter of Emory’s little paws running about the house.  This is his second Christmas, and he is such the little big boy or so he thinks.

Drinking: drinks are a big thing in our house: water, coffee, Coca-Cola, hot chocolate, wassail, orange and apple juices, and a rotation of beverages making guest appearances from ginger ale to real ales to juice boxes to mimosas and bellinis.

Wishing: for renewed purpose, our business, rest and health, new environments and healed relationships, new friendships, inspiration, opportunities to give, and chances to to show everyone love just as they are, where they are.

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Blog Love in the Panther City…Fort Worth- Part 7

A little blog love in the Panther City that is a bit more close to home (literally).  If you know anything about Bo Liles, you would know what an good writer he is (I’m biased as his wife)…he started a sister blog to our own Lost in Drawers by the name of Voodoo Heart.  If you have the time please do check it out and maybe think on some new things, and challenge him, comment, disagree with him…love him..I do all of these things and he still loves me! http://voodooheart.wordpress.com/ for frequent essays and thoughts on Christian Spirituality, culture, theology, art & creativity, relationships and what it means to navigate this life. Check it out, won’t you please!?!

Heather

Happy 27th Birthday…

Ever had a dream that felt like a life story?  One that was a movie, a three act play and never a single scene.  In such a dream you get to see progression, you see growth, you see the world as you want it.  It is a vision that can run the spectrum of emotions and experiences – it happens in both a lifetime and split second.  Such a dream is rare and perfect.

And such is my life with my wife, Heather.  She is the dream I have been waiting my whole life for.  She is that dream one never wants to end.  When we met, I had been waiting, in the words of the song, 29 years before I saw (her).  I never thought I would find such a woman, who is at ease with herself, who is honest, who is passionate, who is loyal, who is creative, who is hilarious, who is adventurous and who is absolutely beautiful.  Three years into our story, I am learning new and wonderful things about her every day, I am challenging myself to be the man and husband to match her as the woman and wife I lucked into marrying.  She is my world as well as my doorway to a life I never thought I could have.  She is everything a person is looking for in a companion, and for you all a friend to have.  She is my love, my lover, my muse, my friend, my counsel, my business partner, my wife and my dream come true.

In a word, a dream…my dream.  Perfect. Wonderful.

~Bo

Happy Early Birthday to Me

My husband did good…real good.

Life is not a straight line

Life is not a straight line.  It is not a a graph chart, with simple peaks and valleys that chart our progress to some eventual ending that is satisfying to us.  We want to simplify the process of living and create a set of assurances that life will end up in our favor.  Religion and much of the modern Western church culture is built around this idea.  And as the world becomes even messier and burdened by the weight of faux celebrity and instant gratification, these assurances have less and less meaning.  We need a different way, because everything in our world says the old way is not working anymore.

We both grew up in various traditional Christian church structures, where one’s worldview was filtered through a set of rights and wrongs, things to do and things to never do.  While we did not live in the era, the whole concept seemed to be more about the simple life that American culture tried to create in the 1950’s.  The American dream made room for a safe God to regulate a safe world of black and white morality…where simple virtues were to be admired and a multitude of sins were to be condemned.  The modern church of America held a mirror to colonial Puritanism and not the cross of Jesus.  The Christian worldview was set in place, and it it felt comfortable as narrow as it is/was.  We “sleep safely in the hands of men.”

When we met, dated and got married…each of us had experienced a lot of disappointment at the hands of religion. It has never been a question of our belief in God (we do) or if we follow Jesus as we understand him (and it may surprise you) or whether or not we feel the Spirit is moving in all things and all people…because we do on all accounts.  But the fact is that there is a point that most people of our generation come to face and it is this: if I choose to embrace who I really am as a person, do I fit the mold that the church says is acceptable.  This has been our struggle as we have moved through several church environments in the last few years.

We feel, fundamentally, that the dream of God is for us to fully embrace ourselves as God created us.  For us, this means embracing our passions – from the role of fashion in living well, to writing to inspire and challenge the norm, to giving to the poor, to embracing a life together that expresses a fierce love and a gentle kindness.  We will not apologize for what this presents, from embracing creativity and frugal use of what we have been blessed with to our insistence that we will love those who have been placed in our lives – not matter if they are Christian or not, no matter what race or ethnicity they, no matter if they are gay or straight, no matter if they are rich or poor, only that they are honest about who they have been created to be.  This seems to pose a problem to much of what church in America is built on, the concept of are you in or are you out.

We don’t think church is about a group of people who think alike and consider their particular group of people the greatest thing since electricity, or at least sliced bread. Nor do we think that church should be a group of self-titled outsiders who consider their brand of anti-church church the true alternative to bible-thumping bigots and narrow minded souls.  We have struggled with the divide between orthodoxy and reform, between traditional and post-modern or emergent or whatever is hip among 20-30somethings pastors.  We have worshiped and joined and led both types of church bodies. And here we find ourselves looking for a new church, and wondering what is possible for us as we look to bond our self-truth with a community truth built by people.

What is church to the people that attend?  Do we want worship that moves beyond cheese and into true emotion?  Are we seeking preaching that moves away from promises of a better life and into what does suffering look like on a Tuesday morning?  Do we want community that embraces us as equals and friends or do we want a quiet harbor where we feels safe after all the storms of the last few years?  Do we want all of these things?  Is that much even possible to expect from a church made up of people? People have hurt us and many of our friends, some in the church and some who do not see how the actions of others can be swallowed up in love.  We want desperately to move from going to church, even church led by family or friends, just because we feel we are supposed to and to find a church that makes us feel we are closer to a God who wants us to be ourselves and use whatever that is for something greater than ourselves.  We want honesty, we want truth, we want kindness that leads to a fierce love – of God, all of creation, of truth beauty creativity and passion…all to make a eternal future that is as it was intended to be.  That is a real community as we see it in the story of scripture.

Honest and free, because life is complex and beautiful and not a graph chart in a cloud room we cannot see.

This is our hope.

Bo

P.S. Sorry this is long but sometimes it’s better to be open than short? eh…eh?

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Two Year Wedding Anniversary Adventures

This is a story of an unedited life and the unedited anniversary that was far from perfect and oh so real.

We had been tossing ideas around for our anniversary for a few months.  I threw out an idea for a road trip (last year was a one location stay-cation) and Tulsa became a target.  Heather did some research and soon we had a hotel booked and a loose plan of where to go and what to do.  Except we forgot a few things.  We have a puppy, no dog sitter (or desire to leave him) and a nationwide heat wave.  You see, traveling with a dog is a roller coaster.  Pet friendly hotels are limited, you are limited to outdoor dining/takeout/delivery/room service only and of course your puppy is not always welcome in businesses or places of interest.  Suddenly 10 days before our anniversary, Tulsa was out.  So life demanded we regroup.

We chose the NYLO Hotel, a pet friendly (such a subjective term) hotel in Las Colinas.  We figured it seemed pretty cool, with a modern design and loft concept.  Well, it seems a loft concept is a narrow hallway type room with a lot of hard surfaces.  The NYLO concept is a green/eco-friendly hotel…which we support, except on our anniversary.  Lights that need a key card to stay on and a shower that automatically shuts of the hot water after a certain amount of time evidently does not scream romance.  Neither does a hotel bar that breeds screaming ladies and drunken fighting couples who do a nice stage performance of who hit who in the hall until 5am.  But a few hours of sleep and a husband’s morning trip to pick up amazing creations from Yummy Donuts and we realized that we like our traditions and anniversaries are a time to go with what you know.

And things were on track, the suite was perfect thanks to Nancy (Heather’s mom) and truly saved our whole weekend, Emory was running about on the carpet like a banshee, and we were relaxing…and then Bo set his hair on fire.  Yes, you read that right…Bo’s hair caught on fire.  Evidently leaning back in the oversize tub to rest one’s head can lead to flames in the style of Michael Jackson’s Pepsi commercial from the 80’s.  It was a sign that anniversaries are not perfect, and neither is life.  Hair catches on fire, meals can make one sick, and the puppy can make a mess out of the hotel suite.  But the key to a real life is to adapt, to attempt to laugh more than rage or cry and pop a bottle of bubbly and eat a donut covered in cereal or candy.  But a proper hotel room cannot be wasted.  On our anniversary proper, dinner reservations at Fortuna on the west side for 7pm led us to a table set for 7 people and a few table options later, our Italian dinner was delicious and the night called for gelato, And a perfect gift of hand picked vintage Italian shoes for Heather

But come on, was it perfect? No, it was a roller coaster.  But with Heather’s mom helping us immensely, we made memories, we learned to go with what we know what works and we began a new year together with a promise to avoid the illusions of perfection and laugh a lot more…especially when somebody’s hair catches on fire.

We want to say that we are beyond blessed, and laughter came from all of these little adventures!

Bo & Heather

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