Through an Open Door

by lostindrawers

It’s easy to edit your life.  It’s easy to choose your spots and display the pretty while you hide the rubbish in the back corners of your heart.  And it is easy to be vague, cryptic and distant in relation to the truth about who you are and what you have are and will go through.  We started this blog to share our lives, to share what we love and to begin to live as authentically as we could.  That being said, life is not all cupcakes and ivy-covered walls which frame our silhouettes in the sunlight.  We have problems, we have and are going through a lot.  It’s hard to look around and know that there are assumptions about who you are as a couple.  The side people think they see on the internet begins to paint a one-dimensional picture in their mind of who you are.  It’s not fair to be judged and put to the side because people are evidently intimidated (in one way or another (by their own perceptions of who you are and how you try to live your life.  No one is made up of just one thing, or just a particular side you see of them.  As human beings, we are so much more than we give each other credit for.

We have been on a journey as a couple to grow and change in a way that would lead us into the dream of God for our lives.  This journey is filled with pitfalls, mistakes, successes and new found hope.  It will lead you to both doubt and hope in people.  It is filled with decisions, some easy and some born of time experience and struggle.  We have been attending my home church for some time now, for a good part of our young marriage.  We came into this particular faith community after helping in a small church plant which was of the emergent and post-modern variety.  My home church is a thriving non-denominational church that comes from pentecostal roots.  A family church toggling between tradition/familiar traditions and the things one sees in any contemporary church in today’s world.  We jumped in and soon found ourselves over the young adult ministry.  The dynamic was one familiar to myself but not to Heather.  The ministry aspect was limited in scope but we hope that whoever who came received something with depth and dimension to it.  Our family is there at the church and the weekends fell into line with a certain rhythm.

But sometimes the rhythm of your life is moving at a different cadence that the world you’ve created around it.  Putting aside the frustrations along the way, we have increasingly found ourselves in the position of moving to the left when the church we have been in are moving (and rightly so) to the right.  This divergence in paths is never easy, it never clean in break and never simple.  There is no one thing that we can point to as an emphasis of blame or reason.  The Spirit seemed to say that by word and deed that we should move in a direction that guides us into lockstep with what we believe one anything and for definitely about anything.  We prayed and we talked and we meditated and we made this decision…that we would go forge our own path, without the long shadows of prolonged assumptions about who we are and what we do, that we would seek our own way and that way would take us away from the communal life of my home church.  It is not a decision without a great deal of thought and time.  Simply something that we must do for our spirits, hearts heads and relationship.  With hopes for the growth of our capacity for the kingdom of God, hope for family ties to strengthen and to find that which aligns with our beliefs and needs in relation to community.  We pray blessings over my home church – may you be more that what you now are, fulfilling your calling as a community.  We hope that in turn we may receive the perspective that releases us in a way that is full of hope rather than confusion or despair.

Sometimes to embrace that which you are to become, you have to step out and risk…we are moving in a direction of challenge that will test us in spirit and make demands of us. We hope that we will stay true to who we are, making choices that move us forward and help us to celebrate our true selves which when seen fully represent what we hope our lives to be: full of faith hope love truth and beauty.  We hope the same for all of you as well.

Bo and Heather